Lest We Forget

I posted this last year – in fact it was when I first started my blog.  It is of course still relevant today, so I’m reposting.  As well as my Grandpa, I also want to honour my uncles – Douglas Jewell, Allen Jewell, Les Copping and Sep Moroney and dear friend Hilton Beeton who also served in World War 2.

medals
My Grandpa’s Medals

When I was in my early teens I was a member of the Hornsby RSL Youth Club and on Anzac Day we were encouraged to represent the RSL Youth Club by marching in the local Anzac Day March (I also participated in the march in Sydney in the early seventies). I felt so proud marching on this special day even as a 12 year old.   My grandfather Colin Ross Thomson, who served in the Second World War, participated in the local march as well.  One of my proudest moments was when we finished the march and we were standing in remembrance around the Cenotaph in Hornsby. It was and always has been a solemn and reflective time. I looked over to see my Grandpa’s head bent in remembrance and it made me feel so proud of this lovely man, who had lost his brother Lachlan in the same war (I didn’t know that as a 12 year old).

I suppose this is why I always feel that Anzac Day is such a special day. I’ve spent many Anzac Days watching the telecast on the ABC, which always brings a tear to my eye. We used to watch with the hope of seeing one of my uncles or parents’ friends on the TV as these very proud men marched by (of course they have all passed away now). Even today just hearing the stirrings of the drums in the pipe bands, the pipes, the Last Post, makes me thoughtful and I reach for the tissues.

My brother’s son Nicholas belongs to his school’s cadets and wears his Great Grandfather’s medals in his school’s Anzac Day March and tomorrow has the honour of playing the Last Post at his school Knox Grammar’s day of remembrance.

If you have an Anzac Day story please let me know.

 

We will remember them
Lest we forget.

Something to Think About

Hi everyone

I hope you are well and embracing 2015. I posted a blog last week (after a month break) and it appears that it didn’t publish. I would love you to have a look anyway – it’s heading was Back to School. I’m posting a new blog in the hope that I am now back “on air”.

I’m still in the process of cleaning old files and I came across something that I’ve saved with quotes about life. I have no idea where it comes from – if you do, please let me know. I’ve listed some, which I asked Eloise to choose. By the way the photo I’ve selected is a sunset taken from our balcony from our recent cruise – this was from my iPhone, so you can imagine how sensational it was!

  • When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  • You don’t have to win an argument. Agree to disagree.
  • Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  • Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  • Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  • No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  • Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?”
  • Always choose life.
  • Forgive everyone for everything.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  • No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

I hope these little quotes inspire you.  I particularly like the reference to chocolate and also never to take myself too seriously – I’m always laughing at the silly things I do or say!!

Enjoy your week.  I look forward to hearing from you – indeed if this goes out into ‘whatever it’s called’.

Love Chris xx

Back to School

Hi everyone

I trust you all had a fabulous Christmas and summer holidays.  This time of year seems to go by so fast – I love summer and catching up with family and friends.  I haven’t posted for ages, my computer is on the blink and I’m using an old, old one (and I can’t upload photos).

After 15 years of school life, this is the first year that we don’t have a child attending school.  Weird, but looking forward to our girls’ next stage in their endeavours.

 We had a few traditions that we always did around this time.

  • We would either go out to dinner (cheap and cheerful restaurant) or have a special dinner at home around their first day of starting a new school year.  We would then write down our dreams and goals for the year.  They are really fun to look back on.  Mine were and still are the same – tidy the home and lose weight.  Geoff’s are also pretty similar each year haha – be organised and time management.   The girls are so cute as their dreams definately and understandably changed from 2000 to 2014.  Eg. take singing lessons, go to Jamberoo, practice more tennis and become really good, get braces off, learn to water ski, help dad build a flying fox in backyard, save for a Barbie caravan, go well in school.  This lists go on.
  • One time Geoff also asked “If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing before you started high school, what would it be?”  Here are two answers: Learn to love to learn and to live out what I learn.  And – Don’t take school too seriously (obviously before the HSC year).   I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading them as I’ve prepared this post and it’s interesting to see how they have changed their dreams/goals. We sticky taped the “bits of paper” in a book to keep track of them.
  • When we met the teacher or had teacher/parent interviews we would focus on people skills – eg. that our girls would have empathy, that they would look an adult in the eye when communicating and be inclusive with others, which was more important than academic results (although they are as well).  We also asked “What can we do to make your life easier” or “How can we help you this year”.
  • Take photos – not only of the first day of the school year, but the first day of the school term.  Great to have both summer, winter and sports uniforms in photos.
  • If you have a niece or nephew or a close family friend’s child starting school, send them a card wishing them well as they start this great big adventure.
  • When I drove the girls to school for the first day back I would tell them this was one of the saddest days of the year for me as I wouldn’t be hanging out with them all day (and I do love holidays).  I tried not to make it too negative and would then say how great their school was and what lovely friends they had etc.

I hope you all have a marvellous week.  I would love to know if you have a child starting kindergarten (what a big day for all the family) or indeed in our case University.  Until next time, enjoy!

Love Chris xx

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Sibling Friendship

We often hear about ‘Sibling Rivalry’ but what about ‘Sibling Friendship’!  How do you help or encourage your children to like each other and to become great friends as adults?

I have been asked this question numerous times.  I can honestly say our daughters are best friends.  They still argue (mostly over clothes), get cranky with each other, sometimes drive each other crazy but they are each other’s biggest supporter.  This was reflected today.  Ruby is making a film clip (my words) or as they say a music video, of one of her songs.  Eloise was one of Ruby’s support people (along with some other gorgeous ones) so this morning Eloise was up at 5:30am, made her breakfast and left at 6:15 to do a coffee run for the others.  Now that’s sisterly love.  And what I love about our girls’ relationship is that if the roles were reversed Ruby would be supporting her sister in exactly the same way.

So how did this come about…………simple!!

I brainwashed my children from an early age.

This probably is not the right way of doing things and I have absolutely no training in raising children, but it seems to have worked for me.

How did I go about this?

Well it helped that my sister (and brother) are my great friends.  So I demonstrated the love for a sibling by saying things like:

Oh great Louise (my sister) is coming over today.  I’m so excited.  I love her so much.

I can’t wait to see her.   She’s my best friend.

This was when they were under 5 so in their little minds, if you had a sister she must be your best friend.  (It also helps that my sister is one of the nicest people I know, so it was never hard loving and caring for her when we were growing up).

Or as they were growing up I’d say things like:

She is your best friend.  Oh she loves you so much.

I always made sure if one was away I would speak well of her in her absence.  And I’d say “I wonder what she is doing, I bet she is missing you”.

It’s about making sure they are valued and not ever being compared to each other, but highlighting their individual gifts and strengths.

Our children did a lot of fun stuff and activities together.  They used to arrange concerts with the other kids in the street, we often went on bike rides, picnics and bush walks.  They spent a great deal of time with each other and as a family unit.

I always made them realise if they were being unfair to each, and tried not to side in arguments.

So I suppose it’s a lot of little things or bits and pieces along the way that helps establish a loving bond between siblings.

My brother and sister are still my close friends and we agree whenever we get together with my mum, her partner and all the cousins it is one of our favourite things to do.  It just works.  Sometimes you can find just the three of us sitting and having a good old laugh – we seem to have the same sense of humour and laugh at things no one else would.  That’s sibling friendship!

And when Eloise was going to the Philippines when she was 16 with school for a mission’s trip, Ruby insisted on coming to the airport to say goodbye, even though that meant getting up at 6am after her school formal.  That’s sibling friendship!

Let me know your experiences of encouraging your children to get along.  Have a lovely weekend.

Love Chris ♥

 

 

Another Time to Enjoy

I thought I’d  continue on the same topic as last time – to enjoy every stage that your children are in.  So again I asked some friends who have children who are now young adults what they LOVE about their children being this age.

  • When my children were younger I remember saying to a good friend who had adult kids how sad that I was at the thought of them growing up.  I remember her saying that she had so much fun with her adult children and not to worry.  Well my children are now 18 and 21 and I really do have so much fun with them, they make me laugh and I enjoy their company so much.  They make me feel young.  Louise (my sister).
  • I love doing life with them (usually, haha).  Their friendship and companionship, their sense of humour, watching them blossom, grow and mature – though sometimes learning the hard way.  Sharing their highs and lows (cause that’s life) but thankful they share them with me and we come through it stronger and richer and a whole lot wiser.  And now watching them choose a life partner and welcoming others into our world is awesome.  Kerrie
  • I love the laughter and banter of the dinner table conversation, on the rare occasions all five of us are home for the evening meal.  I love that my children now encourage me.  I love seeing them be so different and yet succeed in who they are and what they have chosen to do.  Jane G.
  • I love the fact that my 19 year old has just returned from travelling overseas and was able to navigate around Europe  with confidence.  While there she was able to spend time visiting her grandparents and loving that special time.  You often don’t want to let them go, but you’ve encouraged them to be independent and that’s exactly what they become.  I’m so proud of her and love having her home.  I also they fact they can drive you to the occasional Friday lunch with the ladies and pick you up!    Jane H.
  • I love that as young adults they are closer to moving out of home (fabulous mum of 3 young men haha).  Julie C.
  • I love having adult conversations with them and watching them make their own decisions.  You see the fruit of your efforts and the time you spent with them over the years.  Geoff (yep thought I’d bring a bloke into the mix)

As for me, I love just hanging out with our girls.  The four of us went out for dinner last week and one of the girls said that she loved hanging out with the family, as she could totally be herself and be really relaxed – we all agreed.  I love doing sporty things with them.  A couple of years ago, we all did the local Fun Run from Dee Why to Newport together.  Ofcourse I finished way behind them.  I felt so proud – when I was about to cross the finish line with my whole body feeling like it was going to fall apart, there were the girls yelling “Come on Mum, you can do it” and cheering.  How many times did I stand by the finish line of their cross country runs over the years, cheering them on and encouraging them.  Ruby and Geoff have already done a half marathon together and Geoff and Eloise are doing one this month.  I’m not!

They continue to teach me things and inspire me to be a better person, as I watch them enter adulthood and how they face different challenges.  I love the fact that they can drive.   Geoff and I sit in the back – it’s kind of weird letting them drive you around.  I love that they can cook – yah and make me poached eggs for breakfast –  often.  Oh and I love the fact that Saturday sport days are over, selfish I know but who really enjoys getting up at 7am on a cold winter’s morning for Nettas haha.

I love this stage of our family’s life, just like I’ve loved every stage and I’m sure you will agree with me.  Have a wonderful weekend.

Love Chris x

A Time to Enjoy

Three things happened this week to make me ponder.  Firstly, Eloise completed her HSC exams – no more children at school (some might think that would me happy, but it doesn’t).  Secondly, a lovely photo my friend Sim put on Instagram of the last school photo of her children together in primary school – with the comment “that went way too fast”.  Thirdly, when I was grocery shopping with Eloise (certainly not a common occurrence), I spoke to a lady in the queue and she said her sons were now 28 and 30, living in London and not likely to return to Australia to live.  She gets sad when she sees mums with their young adult children and makes her miss her boys even more (isn’t that sad?).

So the thought for the day – enjoy every stage that your children are in.   I tried to do this when they were little, never wishing time away.  I find that I’m not doing that so much now – as I foolishly keep saying “Oh I can’t wait until you get married and have children, so I can be a Nanna”.  How selfish is that.  Stop, I tell myself, enjoy the days now!

I  can’t remember the number of times when they were little I heard the words “enjoy the years while they are young”.  I thought I’d never say that to young mums……..Well forget that – I say those same words all the time to young parents.

So with this in mind – I asked some of my friends who have teenagers or young adult children to let me know what they miss about their children being little.  I received some beautiful, heartfelt, honest comments which I’d like to share.

  • I miss their nearness and presence, having them with me most of the time.  Sharing love, laughter and creating memories together.  x Kerrie
  • All the ‘firsts’ and the delight that ensues – such as: food finding their mouths “all by themselves”, when the training wheels come off.  Also that smile when they wake up, fat knees and dimples in knuckles, the joy when daddy comes home, the look on their face when you encourage them “you can do it!”.  The feeling they give you that you are their entire world.  Their little giggling voice.  I could write for days! x Tracey
  • The squishiness of them. The fact they used my body like a climbing gym, the adorable innocence, the cute comments they made, their earnestness about nothing remotely important, the fact they felt like gorgeous little sacks of flour.  They hadn’t yet forgotten that sense of wonder and awe, like the way they gazed with saucer eyes at my magical stories….and I could go on….. x Margie
  • I miss the sound of giggling when they awoke to a new day (usually very early in the morning).  When both boys were still sleeping in their cots, we would often go in the morning to find them laughing.  It was such a beautiful sound.  I miss being able  to take them for a walk in the pram up to the shops (I walk our dog to the shops now!). I miss seeing the look on their faces when Dad would get home from work, and the way our eldest boy would pounce on him and say,” Dad!  Quick come here I have to show you this right now!”  I miss the enthusiastic willingness to help.  I miss them coming in to bed with us in the morning.  Even though I remember they were extremely wriggly and would NEVER lie still.  I miss my youngest boy’s constant smiling face.  When he was about 6 months old he just smiled all day – he was content and very peaceful.   I miss the hugs and kisses and the “I love you mummy” moments.  I miss all the toys that went to bed with them each night – one had “puppy” and his blankie, the other had his soccer pillow and when he was two years old went to bed with 3 dummies – one in his mouth, and one in each hand. x Sandy
  • The sense and wonder in every day and every activity.  Bedtime prayers, cuddles and the stroking of cherub faces.  Little arms that wrap around my neck as a little voice whispers, “I love you mummy.  You’re the best mummy in the whole world”.  Batman, Superman and teddy bear tea parties.  Silly songs and make-believe games.  Early morning family cuddles in bed.  School photos where the photographer combs my child’s hair in a way that makes them look strange and somehow not mine, but I buy it anyway.  Artwork and handmade gifts that mean so much more than anything expensive I would ever buy.  That’s off the top of my head – sorry if you just wanted one thing! x Monica
  • Watching them have fun in the bath together, putting bubbles on their faces pretending to be santa.  Wrapping the towel around them and giving them a cuddle.  Just having them around! x Jane

And for me – wow I think all of the above.  I cried when I read what my friends sent me.  I really do miss when I used to pick them up and their little head nestled in the crook of my neck and their legs wrapped around my waist.  One time one of my kids said – mum you don’t have to cuddle me so much anymore.  I tried to explain it this way – I said “look at that photo of me and you when you were 4.  Now this is how it is……do I look like I’ve change at all compared to you?  No I haven’t changed I’m still that person in the photo and I still need to have cuddles”.  She got the message and I’m pleased to say I get a cuddle whenever I want (I know it drives them crazy but who cares!).

I hope at the end of the day and you are totally worn out – you can reflect on your day and the absolute joy and privilege of being a mum (or dad)!

Have a terrific weekend.

Love Chris ♥

 

 

Home Alone

20 Year Wedding Anniversary
20 Year Wedding Anniversary

This last week was the first time Geoff and I have been home alone.  Eloise went to study camp for the HSC and Ruby popped down to Melbourne (as you do) with some girlfriends.  Unfortunately Geoff couldn’t take time off work.  We have been alone for this period of time in the past, when the girls were at school camp or celebrating anniversaries, but we usually go away together for a couple of nights.

Well let me tell you – I learnt something this week, other than really enjoying my own company and how much my home needed a spring clean.  Over our married life, we have been told or read about how important it is to protect your marriage.  How important it is to spend time together alone, to get away from the little people and just focus on your marriage.  I usually just thought, yeah, yeah, yeah.  We’ve got a great marriage – it doesn’t mean we don’t discuss things (sometimes heatedly).  We have the same ups and downs that any marriage experiences.

BUT, oh my goodness, when it is just the two of you – you really, really need to get along and enjoy each other’s company.  I’m so glad that over the years we have sown time into our marriage and am grateful that I listened when being encouraged to value my marriage.  So if you ever have the chance to get away together, a movie, a dinner, a sneaky walk along the beach – DO IT (sorry was that me yelling?!!).

In my spring cleaning I came across something I typed up years ago about ways to love your husband (or your wife).  It was taken from Chicken Soup for the Couple’s Soul.  I’ve listed a few here – just to get you, and me, started.

  • Love yourself first
  • Start each day with a hug
  • Compliment freely and often
  • Appreciate and celebrate your differences
  • Go on a date once every week (or as often as you can)
  • Be forgiving
  • Hold hands
  • Laugh at his jokes (now there’s a challenge)
  • Encourage wonderful dreams
  • Give the love your partner wants to receive
  • Give the love you want to receive
  • Show interest in the other’s work

Enjoy your week.  Celebrate Spring!!

Love Chris

My 50th birthday lunch
My 50th birthday lunch

Change – First and Last Day of School

Graduation Day
Graduation Day

Eloise graduated from High School this week – which means our family’s school days are over after 15 years.  Everyone tells me it’s a happy time, so why am I so sad?  After her formal on Friday night, which Geoff and I attended, I cried just about all the way home.  The Year 12 students went off to a party and even though I was really happy to see them all leave on a “party bus” to a friend’s home to celebrate their new found freedom, I was dreadfully miserable.  Get a grip, I told myself.

So I’ve worked it out – for 15 of the last 18 years we always went away the first Sunday of the holidays (that would be today in any other year) to sunny Queensland for our annual holiday.  I’m not sad about her leaving school, I’m sad because I’ve missed out on our family holiday.  So I sit here alone (OK not alone as Geoff is working in the garden), while Eloise has left for study camp for a week and Ruby is heading off to Melbourne tomorrow for a week with some girlfriends.  Bliss, you might say, a week alone in the home (Geoff still is at work).  But again, I’m missing my family holiday.  So really it’s not about the change or transition of my children from school student to young adult, it’s about the fact that the long tradition of family holidays at this time of year has ceased.  My mum always says how she used to love going on our family holidays and misses those days.  Why? I used to think – we all piled into Uncle John’s car (7 of us), no seat belts and headed to Queensland – 14 hours of non-stop chatter between my mum and Nanna.  BUT the memories and fun of those days are some of my favourites.

So I’m missing the chance to be with Geoff and the girls and family time.  Even though it takes effort to pack, especially when you do it all for the children, getting in the car and taking off – it is well worth it.  I actually use to wake the girls with the song “We’re all going on a Summer Holiday” by Cliff Richard played very loudly, this was the holiday alarm clock.  Wherever you are in your family’s journey, please take time to go on holidays.  You won’t regret the time, money and effort.

Happy Holidays in 2005
Happy Holidays in 2005

Enjoy the school holidays.

Love Chris xx