Parenting Tips – Page 3

Saying Good-Night

Today is the last day that I can say “I have two teenage daughters”. Tomorrow 15th May, Miss Ruby turns 20. In my mind she is still 3. I can still recall when she was 2 or 3 years old, standing with hands on hips, facing Geoff (after he had obviously done something that was displeasing to her) and saying “I’m berry, berry upset with you dad, I’m berry, berry cranky”. How time flies when you’re having fun. Happy Birthday my darling Ruby. Love You xxxx

Some Thoughts:

We all know that it is important to tuck your little ones in at night. Something that starts whilst your children are young can continue into their teenage years.

When I was a little girl my mum always said “Good night darling, God bless you, sweet dreams, I love you”. I carried this saying over to my children, and I don’t think a night has gone by without me saying it to them. Even if they are going on camp or staying over at someone’s home, I always let them know that around the time they would be going to sleep, just imagine me saying that goodnight phrase.

There were days when they were young, I was pushed to my limit with a demanding, cranky, whiney child and all I wanted to do was run away. But at the end of the day, when they are smelling oh so sweet and looking for that extra bit of love – make a decision to give them that extra cuddle.

When the girls were younger, I was walking upstairs to get ready for bed. I had already kissed and said goodnight, and Geoff was saying his final goodnight. Eloise called out, “Mum, can I have another cuddle?” Groan – all I wanted to do was keep walking and get ready for bed, but I knew that one day I wouldn’t be having my daughters asking for another cuddle.

Geoff has always been the main story teller in our home. He has also given the girls back rubs or head rubs to help them sleep. The lovely thing is our 17 year old still calls out “Dad, when are you going to tuck me in?”. That often translates to a neck massage. He is a great Dad. It also means more conversation, which leads to a better relationship.

On reflecting, sometimes on a Saturday night, when the girls are out at friends’ places (driving themselves now) I often think around 8 o’clock – I wish they were here right now snuggled on the lounge in their winter pyjamas, and we were all watching a kid’s movie together. It’s hard to let go. So I encourage you that no matter how tired you are, take as much time as is needed to tuck them in and say goodnight.

Some ways to let your kids know you love them:

* Make them breakfast in bed

* Leave a little note in their lunch box saying how great they are and how much you love them

* Have a candlelight dinner

* Go for a bike ride together

* Play cards and board games with them (our favourite at the moment is Rummikub)

Have a fun week everyone.

X Chris

Chris

A couple of weeks ago when visiting my mum, she was looking at some letters I had written to her. There was one that I had given her with my Mother’s Day card four years ago. My mum was and is a really wonderful mum. She surrounded us with unconditional love growing up (my brother says I spent my teenage years bickering with mum – I may have been a bit feisty). My dad was diagnosed with a degenerative brain tumour when mum was 33 and he was only 40 (I was 10). My parents grew up 4 doors apart, and mum says she fell in love with dad when she was 12. She still kept our family together with the help of my Nanna (Ruby Jewell) and my Uncle John (they lived a km away). Even with dad’s illness and disability always present in our home, mum always put her children first (after attending to dad of course). She nursed and loved him for 10 long years (the last 4 while he was in a nursing home during the week and totally wheelchair bound).

I would like to share the letter with you and hope that it might encourage you to write a letter to your mum this Mother’s Day.

Darling Mum

On reflecting what to write to you on Mothers’ Day, I think of your six grandchildren – how beautiful, well-adjusted, caring young people they all are. I give you credit for these lovely children.

I think I am a good mum and this is because I draw on your mother’s love and my memories and experiences of how you were (and are) a caring and a wonderful mother to us. So, mum, the heritage you leave as a mum and nanna is priceless and cannot be valued. I cannot express to you how often I think about all the little things you did for us as we grew up and I can only try and copy that in my own mothering.

Thank you mum for teaching, showing and demonstrating to me how to be a mum and for being my role-model. I Love You.

Thank you for letting me share that with you.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you outstanding, delightful, magnificent mums. Make sure you take lots of photos of the lovely presents your kids will make for you at school and kindy.

x Chris

Chris

Values to Teach

It is sometimes a challenge for the modern day parents to teach the age old values in an increasing and relevant way. Perhaps you could highlight one of these on your family notice board each week.

* Kind words cost little but accomplish much

* Work is its own reward

* Brothers and sisters are the best allies in times of trouble

* To have friends, you must first be one

* A soft answer turns away anger, but harsh words cause quarrels

* Honesty is the best policy

* Attitude is a choice – choose to be positive

* Pride comes before a fall

Talk about them with your little ones, ask them what they mean to them. Maybe something happened today where these sayings could be applied?

I think they are relevant no matter what age you are. Let me demonstrate the last one – Pride comes before a fall.

When Ruby was in Kindy, at the athletics carnival they have a Kindy mums’ race, where you piggy back your child. Now I considered myself quite the runner so I grabbed Ruby, I’m not sure she was that keen, headed to the starting line and sized up my competition. Easy, I’ve got this one in the bag, I thought. Stand aside ladies, here I come. Well in front of the whole school on the oval, just 10 metres from the finishing line I was out in front and loving it, when I tripped and Ruby and I went splattering to the ground. How embarrassing. I picked up my crying kindy kid and finished the race -last!! My friends enjoyed every moment – and one of them pointed out “Well Chris, you know what they say – Pride comes before a fall!!”

The above info came from a parenting magazine from New Zealand I used to subscribe to. I loved it. You can find it at www.theparentingplace.com

Chris

Keep Notes

We rarely left the girls for more than a couple of days when they were young but when we did I would type out long instructions to give to whoever was looking after them, whether it was my mum, relative or good friend. I just came across some of the notes the other day and they brought back so many memories of things I had forgotten. You think you will remember everything, but you don’t. Sometimes I look at photos and don’t even know how old the girls were at the time (sad isn’t it).

When I showed them to Ruby and Eloise they both laughed and said how they had forgotten all those things too. Without embarrassing my girls (actually I’m always embarrassing them – that’s part of being a mum), here are some things we had forgotten:

Eloise has two scoops of Toddler milk in her bottle , she will ask for about 20 bottles during the day. If she really whinges for a “milky in a bottle” I give in – makes life easier. (actually that’s the tamed down version). Geoff still sings “milky in a bottle” whenever he hears “message in a bottle” by Sting.

Paints – are in the laundry, paper in the far corner – good luck. This will keep them occupied for at least 3 minutes – only takes you about 10 minutes to set it up – is it worth it???

Then I proceeded to list out the food requirements. Oh my goodness what was I thinking:

Ruby’s lunch:

White bread (hy-fibre) sandwich, no butter, avocado, cut in half
Half an orange, cut into quarters, with white pit cut off and skin left on
Vita-wheat with butter and vegemite
Piece of capsicum cut into strips
Kraft cheese spread snack biscuits (not sure about those today)

I’ve stopped typing because the list goes on to further extremes.

Anyway the notes do bring back lots of memories, perhaps more for me than for the girls. But really at the end of the day it’s always been about me!!

So no matter what things you think you should throw out because you will remember these beautiful, hectic days…..don’t! My notes were actually so precise it revealed to me exactly what I was doing all those years ago.

And even if your kids are teenagers, please write down, type up, record all the little things you think you’ll remember.

Feel free to send me your thoughts. xx

Chris

Backyard Camping

If you’re looking for way to keep your children happy – put a tent up in the backyard. We as adults can’t fathom the fun that can be had just by this simple adventure.

I just saw this photo on my friend’s Simone’s Instagram and just thought back to the fun times our girls had. They used to do it all the time, and often with their friends along as well. We would give them torches, camping mattresses, lots and lots of pillows, cushions, blankets and of course midnight treats. A little bit of chocolate doesn’t hurt too much, does it?

There is a huge amount of effort to get this adventure going – all hands on deck. You might plan to do just one night, as Simone’s family did, but after all the effort, her husband Sam and their boys Eden and Pip stayed out for two nights.

If our girls were old enough or happy to be on their own, we would leave our mobile phone with them in case they were feeling a little unsure. Just be aware you could have some very tired and cranky children the next day.

Happy campers, happy family!!

Happy Easter Sunday. It’s the only day of the year when you can wake up, have a cup of tea and chocolate for breakfast and not feel guilty (well maybe a little). Oh the pleasurable first bite into the Red Tulip Bunny’s ear!!

Chris

Holiday Fun

If you are looking for something to do these holidays/Easter break can I suggest a walk to Barrenjoey Lighthouse. It sits at Sydney’s most northern point – Barrenjoey Head at Palm Beach and is part of the National Parks (so you are unable to take your puppy dogs).

The walk is extremely picturesque and is about 1km to the top. While the walk to the top is easier than it appears, it does require a moderate level of fitness, hence the photo of Eloise on Geoff’s shoulders at the top of the walk. She actually spent most of her childhood on his shoulders on any of our outings.

Parking is available at Governor Phillip car park and this is paid parking, unless you have a Pittwater Council sticker.

Why not pack a BBQ lunch for the end of the walk, you can bring your own BBQ, although since this photo was taken quite a few years ago, gas BBQs have been installed.

You can also visit the Palm Beach Boathouse, which has great coffee!

Have fun and please let me know if you do it and what you think.

Chris

Table Manners

Teach your children table manners. Here are a few ideas:

How to use their knife and fork properly.
Wait for everyone to be served before they start eating their meal (especially the cook).
Chew their food with their mouth closed.
If dining at a restaurant, when the meal is finished, place the knife and fork in the middle of the plate to let the waiter/waitress know you have finished.
I always encourage our girls to take their plate to the sink when the meal is over.

You never know who your children will dine with one day!!